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 An online correspondence course The home is of divine origin. It began in the Garden of Eden when God, seeing that it was not good for the first man to be alone, made a helper for him. He caused a sleep to come upon Adam and from one of his ribs created a woman and brought her to the man. "And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Gen. 2:23, 24.) THE PURPOSES OF MARRIAGE. Jehovah created the woman as "an help meet for him," a companion to the man. Matthew Henry observes "that the woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved." (Commentary, vol. 1, p. 20.) The nature of man and woman is such that they complement one another. Generally speaking, man has strength which is lacking in woman, while woman possesses a degree of tenderness not felt by the man. Each needs the other and supplies the companionship which the other requires for happiness. There is another vital function of the marriage relationship. When God created the first human beings he said, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it" (Gen. 1:28.) It is God's will that children be brought into this world to populate it. He desires that this be accomplished through the marriage relationship instead of outside it. Adultery and fornication are often condemned in God's word, but the marriage relationship -- social, spiritual, and physical -- has the blessing of the Heavenly Father. Marriage also satisfies without immorality the biological needs of men and women. Read Paul's instructions to husbands and wives in 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. Furthermore, marriage and the home provide security for each member of the family. The children who are born to the marriage union have a sense of security which is not found outside the home. It should be observed, however, that marriage is not a "sacrament." In fact, that word is foreign to the Bible. The marriage ceremony should not be regarded as a religious rite. The practice of having a marriage solemnized by a clergyman is of recent origin. Our laws provide that a religious leader (or even a justice of the peace) may perform the ceremony uniting two people. Since such a ceremony is legally required and we are to be subject to laws, we should not dispense with the ceremony. But let us not from this conclude that God does not approve of a marriage just because a religious institution has not placed its stamp of approval upon it. LOVE--THE FOUNDATION OF THE CHRISTIAN HOME. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." (Eph. 5:25.) The closest of all human ties is found in the home. The permanency of a home and the happiness of its members depend largely upon the love which they hold for one another. If Paul's admonitions regarding love apply to Christians in general, they doubly apply to the relationships in the home. "Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil; rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never faileth." (1 Cor. 13:4-8 -- A.S.V.) This type of love applied in the home will overcome the problems -- big and small -- which inevitably arise. It will rule out the selfishness which has often proved fatal to this God-ordained institution. A major difference between Christian homes and others is that of attitudes toward God. The members of the Christian home posess a love for God as well as for one another. That love causes them to put God first, even before themselves. They strive to carry out the admonition of Jesus, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." (Matt. 6:33.) Love for one another and love for God will make the home the permanent institution which it is intended to be. THE HUSBAND AND THE HOME. God made the husband the head of the home. "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church." (Eph. 5:23.) "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." (1 Cor. 11:3.) In Eden Jehovah said to the woman, "And thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee." (Gen. 3:16.) This does not mean, however, that woman is intellectually inferior to man. As the head of the home the man is not a dictator. His position gives him responsibilities more than rights. One of these, which ought to be a privilege, is to love his wife above every other human being. "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it...So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself...Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself." (Eph. 5:25,28,33.) Peter enjoins husbands, "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel." (1 Peter 3:7.) If the husband loves his wife he will put her before himself and consider her wishes before his own. As head of the home the husband must provide for his family's material needs. This duty is inherent in his position as others depend on him. Paul's statement to Timothy applies especially to him. "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denieth the faith, and is worse than an infidel." (1 Tim. 5:8.) In marrying, a man contracts to use his wages for the welfare of his whole family, not just for himself. THE WIFE AND THE HOME. The woman was created as a helper for her husband. When she marries she places her duty to her companion above her parents, even as he does for her. "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Gen. 2:24.) This does not imply that either will cease to love his parents, but rather that they no longer will be "tied to their apron strings." Many homes have been wrecked because husband and wife did not recognize that their first responsibility was to one another rather than to parents. The Christian wife must be submissive to her husband. "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." (Eph. 5:22.) "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (behavior) of the wives." (1 Peter 3:1.) Of course, a wife should be subject to God before her husband. "We ought to obey God rather than men." (Acts 5:29.) If Christians marry other Christians there will be no conflict. But there is always a danger that in marrying out of Christ one may be placed in a compromising situation. A Christian marrying a non-Christian endangers his soul since the other person may be stronger and lead him away from the Lord. Furthermore, it is easier to win one to Christ before marriage than after that contract has been made. Even if one does remain true to the Lord after he marries out of Christ, he will find his service to Christ hindered by his unwise action. The wife is a homemaker. She is to "bear children, guide the house." (1 Tim. 5:14.) She has a greater influence upon her children in their tender years than does her husband. She cannot be an effective homemaker if the majority of her time is spent in affairs outside the home. PARENTS AND CHILDREN. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise...And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord." (Eph. 6:1, 2,4.) Children are to be subject to their parents so long as they are a part of the home. Obedience is too often forgotten in our modern society, frequently because parents do not teach their children to obey. If parents do not have the respect and obedience of their children they have only themselves to blame. The above passage warns fathers against provoking their children to wrath. This can be done if a child is punished unjustly or punished without his understanding the reason for discipline. It is said of the boyhood of Jesus that he "increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man." (Luke 2:52.) His development was fourfold -- "in wisdom" -- mental; "in stature" -- physical; "in favor with God" -- spiritual; "in favor with man" -- social. Parents should help their children develop in these four ways. Most important is the spiritual development. To bring up children "in the nurture and admonition of the Lord" requires religious teaching in the home. Parents should teach their children to love God, to pray, and to know the teachings of the scriptures. They should teach by both instruction and example. While the church has a duty to teach God's word to children, the first responsibility is the parents'. Correction of children (which at times may require physical punishment) is a recognized scriptural principle in child development. "Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence...Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby." (Heb. 12:9, 11.) Solomon wrote, "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame...Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul." (Prov. 29:15, 17). "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." (Prov. 13:24.) THE BROKEN HOME. Every effort should be made to preserve the home. The teaching of Jesus respecting divorce is clear. "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." (Matt. 19:9.) Divorce with consequent remarriage, therefore, is regarded by Jesus as adulterous and sinful. In using the expression "except for fornication," Jesus teaches that marital infidelity is the only scriptural ground for divorce. The home was created for the well being of mankind. To recognize and practice God's laws will bring happiness. To fail to do so will bring grief, strife, and broken homes. God's way is always best. True or false:
List four purposes of marriage: 1. 2. 3. 4. Parents should help their children develop mentally. List three other ways that they should help them develop: 1. 2. 3. Ephesians 5:22-33 compares the relationship of husband and wife to that of Christ and the church. Read these verses and fill in the blanks: The ________ is the head of the ________ as Christ is the head of the ________. Therefore ________ are to be subject to their ________ as the church is subject to Christ. On the other hand, husbands are to ________ their wives as their own ________. A man shall leave his ________ and ________ and cleave to his ________ so that the two of them may be one ________. Check your answers > > > Back to the Table of Contents |
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